Call Me

"Hello? No, I'm not busy. Mommy was just about to take me to the grocery store, but I have time to talk. What's up?"

What's Daddy's work number again?















"Hi, Daddy. It's Charlotte. Can you come home and have another dance party with me?"









Here, Blue Dog. Daddy wants to talk to you.

"Hi, is this Ben's mommy? I was just calling to confirm my playdate with Ben this Wednesday."

I can't even get dinner ready without being interrupted by a phone call!

Justin Timberlake left me a message that he saw my dance video. He wants me to call him back ASAP.

"Hello, Justin Baby?! How are you? ... Of course I'll be in your next video ... Give my love to Cameron ... Oh, sorry, I hadn't heard ... OK, have your people talk to my people."

You Can Dance If You Want To

I LOVE to dance. Dance, dance, dance. I'll dance to anything, but I especially love to shake my groove thing to Justin Timberlake songs. Mommy said that Beyonce is holding auditions for backup dancers - here is my audition video, set to Justin Timberlake.





Can you tell that I choreographed it all by myself?

Baby, It's Cold Inside

Here it is - the moment everyone in New York and Paris has been waiting for!

Behind this peek-a-boo I am hiding my 2007 Winter Line of Toddler Jammies.

TA - DA!!

For the toddler who refuses to wear a hat outside, even when Mommy begs, I have designed an expertly color coordinated pajama set complete with mittens and hat for indoor wear.

You can look cute and be toasty warm when you're inside, looking out the window wondering if it will ever snow.

My PJ set is so comfortable that you'll want to wear it around the house all morning. By the time your mommy wants to take you out of the house to run errands, you can tell her that you shouldn't have to wear any hats or mittens again since you wore them all morning long - tell her your head needs to breathe.

While stylish and warm, my jammies are not convenient for dexterity.

Now I must go to create my next line of toddler clothes. A designer's work is never done.

Captured!!

On July 30, 2006, my mug appeared on the TV show "America's Most Wanted." The police wanted me on multiple charges. In case your Tivo didn't pick up that episode, here's a quick refresher:

http://charlottesweblink.blogspot.com/2006/07/americas-most-wanted.html

Emmet (the convict that I helped to escape) and I had been on the lam for months when a very cranky pug named Trixie turned us in. We were sent immediately to the clink.



As you can see, I quickly tired of my cellmate. Emmet is now serving time in a maximum security pugitentiary.

As for me, I am currently in solitary confinement until I can learn how to use an "inside voice" - apparently my loud voice disturbs the other inmates.

Hopefully they'll give me a haircut when I get out of isolation.

Day Two in the Big House

They brought me out of solitary confinement and threw me back in a cell with Emmet. As part of my punishment for being loud, they informed me that I had to stay in the cell with Emmet (who is experiencing 'tinkle' issues because of the stress of being locked up - hence, the diaper.) So now I am adjusting to prison life with an unruly, diaper clad pug who snores like a...well, like a pug. How I manage to look cute despite all of this is amazing.

See you in three to five.

Operation: Bye, Bye Paci

Everyone has been asking Mommy how I've been doing since my pacifier disappeared from my crib last week. The first night didn't go too well - I woke up around midnight crying because I couldn't find it. Mommy came in to help soothe me back to sleep, but I wasn't falling for her trick easily. I kept her up for another two hours to let her know that I wasn't happy about the loss of dear paci. My intent was to stay up all night in protest, but I was exhausted and finally fell asleep without getting my beautiful binky back. I guess Mommy is more stubborn than I am.
Since that fateful night, I have not looked back. I have slept like a baby Charlotte ever since.


To make up for not having something to put in my mouth in the crib, Mommy has been giving me other yummy things to put in my mouth. The best paci replacement so far has been the beaters that Mommy used to make cookies today.

I wish I had Emmet's tongue - that way it would be long enough to wrap around all parts of this beater. I will not rest until it is spotless!

After I was finished polishing the beater, Mommy asked me if I missed my paci.

Paci? What paci?

Pacifier

Dec 2005 - Jan 2007

R.I.P.

Kobayashi's Competition

Hi. My name is Charlotte Elise. I am an eat-a-holic.

I love to eat so much that I am going to start training to be a member of the International Federation of Competitive Eating. Mommy and Daddy watch competitive eating on ESPN - the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, the Grilled Cheese Challenge, the Valentine's Day Massacre (chocolate eating contest)... I don't know if there is a mac and cheese challenge, but I'm going to train just in case. Every eater has his own technique and strategy...

The spoon just isn't working for me. I think I'll skip the utensils and shove the mac in with my hands.

I'm so good at this that I even ate the plate!

I need to be serious about training if I'm going to beat Kobayashi from Japan. He is the number one rated eater and is undefeated. There are a ton of marshmallows in this bag, but I'm determined to eat them all quickly.

Wolfie, I could be disqualified for this at an eating competition, but I'll give you a marshmallow just because you're cute.

Hmmmm. Maybe you'd be good at this competitive eating thing, too. I wonder if dogs could enter. I bet you'd give Kobayashi a run for his money.

Ooooooooooh! There's a grape eating contest, too? Forget the marshmallows and mac n cheese - sign me up for that one!

I think I ate one marshmallow too many. Maybe I should hold off on this competitive eating thing for a little while. My belly just can't hold as much as a grown-up's can.

Alright, pugs! Just because I've retired doesn't mean you can slack off! The hot dog eating contest is in six months - let's get eating!!

Happy Birthday, Cousin Drew!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DREW,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DREW,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO, WELL, DREW,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DREW!!!



One year ago today, a pesty but cute little boy who likes to tug my hair and get teeth quicker than I do entered our family.

We've come a long way, baby.

Have a great first birthday, Drewbie. I can't wait for your party!!

The Year of the Dog

I, Charlotte Elise, do hereby declare 2007 The Year of the Dog.

Mommy says that according to the Chinese horoscope, the Year of the Dog ends in mid-February. I have decided to extend the Year of the Dog to include all 12 months of 2007 (besides, the Year of the Pig starts in February. Who needs that? How cuddly and fun to hug could a pig be?!)

In the Year of the Dog, it is essential for everyone to...

...give a bear hug to every dog you encounter

...help a dog look cute and beg for food in the kitchen



...help a dog stay clean by bathing him (if he doesn't like baths, a simple wipe-down with a paper towel is sufficient)


...let a sleeping dog lie

...referee meal times so that each dog can enjoy his own meal in peace



...take a dog on a walk, even if it is just around the kitchen

...let all dogs know you love them, even if he is a stuffed breed


...offer lots of nutritious snacks (including those from the toilet paper food group)




...provide plenty of structured games for your dogs to play together (and then scream really loudly to let them know they're getting too rowdy)




Happy New Dog Year!!!

Bloomin' Onions for Everyone - My Treat!

Outback Bowl Champs!!

Penn State - 20

Tennessee - 10

Did you hear the great news? My beloved Nittany Lions ignored the critics who said they had no chance against a fast SEC team like the Volunteers and defeated them 20 to 10.

I could have done without the 500 reviews from the booth, but otherwise I thoroughly enjoyed the 30 minutes of the game that I watched with Mommy and Daddy (sorry, Penn State, but I'm still trying to catch up on all the sleep I missed during the holidays!!)

My new friend, the Elmo giggle chair, gave me a comfortable place to watch JoePa coach our team to a great win. Even though JoePa was up in the booth because of his leg boo-boo, he led Penn State to a convincing defeat.

Charlotte's Shout Outs - Special Outback Bowl Edition

1. Tony Hunt - You are the MVP! I bet your mommy and daddy are proud! You moved to #2 on the all time PSU rushing list. You had 158 yards on 31 carries. Is there any doubt you'd get a shout out?!

2. Anthony Morelli - Where have you been all season? You played with confidence and poise. You were 14 of 25 for 197 yds, 1 TD and NO interceptions!! I bet the fans are sorry they called you stupid now! You made a lot of us very excited for next year (of course, Mommy is always excited for next year, even when there is no hope of the team being good.)

3. Paul Posluszny - You didn't have the best game of your career, but you're Poz, so you get an automatic Shout Out. We're going to miss you. Good luck in the NFL!

4. Tony Davis (or as Big Jim called you, "Tony King") - You get a shout out for having the play of the game. You returned a fumble 88 yards for the winning touchdown. I bet you'll get to pick whichever seat you want on the plane ride back to State College.

5. JoePa - You had to coach from far away, you just turned 80 years old and your leg hurts, but you will always be the Lion King and you will always be deserving of a shout out.

6. The last shout out of the year goes to the Blue Band Drum Major. Every game, you run out onto the field and perform two flips into a split in front of 108,000 screaming fans. We're screaming because we know there are very few people brave enough to do a flip wearing that silly tall hat. As if that feat weren't enough, you then have to lead the Blue Band into playing such Penn State favorites as "Rock n Roll Part II", "Fight on State", and "Hey, Baby". If you can explain to me why the Blue Band plays "Hey, Baby," there's another Shout Out in it for you.

Well, Penn State, you are 9-4. That's commendable! You gave Mommy and my JoePa a few ulcers along the way, but ultimately you made us all proud to be Nittany Lion fans. See you in September!!